By PALLAVI BHATTACHARYA

While discussing the debatable topic whether 'monogamy is outdated', Dhaval, a 22-year-old student points out, "Even in the ancient times monogamy was not practiced so why should we expect that humans are monogamous in our times? I feel that humans are animals by nature and monogamy is hardly practiced in the animal kingdom, so why shouldn't the same norm hold in the human species?" Though believers of monogamy may harshly refute Dhaval's perspective, what he says is actually quite close to the truth. The Nobel Prize-winning ethnologist Konrad Lorenz in his famous essay Deflating the Myth of Monogamy writes, "Biologists have long understood that monogamy is rare in mammals. Of about 4,000 mammalian species, only a handful have ever been called monogamous." It's been noted that human's closest primates the chimpanzees and baboons are extremely promiscuous in their mating. Going down the ages monogamy was much less practiced than polygamy (having more than one spouse at a time) or more specifically polygyny (having more than one wife at a time). Polygyny was practiced in ancient Hebrew society, classical China, traditional African and Polynesian cultures and also in ancient India. Polygamy was however not accepted in ancient Greek or Rome and the global political and economic dominance of European nations from the sixteenth to the twentieth century has lead to polygamy (rather polygyny) being legally recognized in very few nations.

However it must be remembered that even if one is married it doesn't guarantee that one will behave in a monogamous manner. Social psychologist and counsellor Chrisann Almeida says, "Society has created monogamy, we're not naturally monogamous. In fact, our physical design has evolved in directions that ensure the maximum number of offspring and lots of genetic diversity, which is achieved through changing partners and these traits, are of course at odds with monogamy. In the book Civilization And Its Discontents, Freud argued that civilization is founded on the repression of instincts. It now seems clear that one of those instincts leads us away from monogamy but at the same time, there is no reason to conclude that adultery or non-monogamy is unavoidable, or that it is good."

She further agrees that monogamy is showing a rapid decline in today's world and according to her the reason behind this is, "As the world around us shrinks and cultures open up, a lot of people are questioning and challenging the conventional idea of monogamy. The influence of the media is a catalyst to monogamy's decline. All around us monogamy's failures are being recorded in works of literature not to mention scores of soap operas and movies which describe a succession of affairs all glossed up for the masses, without highlighting the impact of it's decline or the harmful psychological effects on partners and children."

While discussing another very sensitive debatable topic on which gender is more monogamous, Digonta Bordolio, Creative Consultant at Ogilvy & Mather Advertising feels that women are more monogamous than men, "Rather then anything to do with the testosterone level difference in men and women, it is largely because of social norms that women tend to be more monogamous then men. In an equal society, I guess there will be no difference, as the physical urge to seek something new is present in everyone, irrespective of gender."

Renowned hairdresser Ayesha Riazuddin, instructor of L'Oreal Professional Paris says, "If one is not monogamous one tends to lose direction and starts leading a confused life. Getting in and out of relationships is simply time consuming and stressful. No man or woman can promise one another eternal love if they don't want to be in a permanent relationship." Adds Digonta, "Monogamy will fulfill you more spiritually than physically. Besides if not being monogamous becomes the norm the human race may be wiped out as AIDS may become as common as common cold."

Sociologist Usha Venkataraman supports monogamy especially in marital bonds because, "Monogamy produces the highest type of affection and sincere devotion for one's spouse as both the father and the mother can give their earnest attention to their offspring." Chrisann says, "Psychologically and sociologically speaking monogamy has tremendous benefits. Research has shown that a monogamous union, with it's stability and security is a powerful defense against illness and premature death. In the 1930s, British anthropologist J.D. Unwin studied 86 cultures that stretched across 5,000 years. He found, without exception, when they restricted sex to marriage, they thrived. But not one culture survived more than three generations after turning sexually permissive. Noted Harvard sociologist Pitirim Sorokin found no culture surviving once it ceased to support marriage and monogamy."

Keeping morals, values, ethics, laws and social norms aside it seems that monogamy will not disappear from the world altogether due to oxytocin-hormone found in humans and other mammals, which is involved in the facilitation of birth and breastfeeding as well as in bonding and the formation of trust between people. Adds Chrisann, "This neurochemical, oxytocin, nicknamed 'the cuddle hormone', lessens the effects of stress, eases cravings and acts as a natural antidepressant. When we produce it, we even have a measurable calming effect on those around us! Kissing, generous touch, such as stroking or massage, conscious and affectionate nurturing of another, all raise the levels of this bonding, nurturing neurochemical. Most importantly, oxytocin increases sexual desire and the attraction between familiar partners-mates - but not between unfamiliar partners. So oxytocin is also the 'hormone of monogamy.' So no wonder monogamous unions benefit us."